This Alien Wants To Be Taken To Your Member

Most alien invasions happen with space ships shooting lasers at shrieking humans. The Man Eater from Outer Space will make humans scream too, but with pleasure. Yes, this is an alien-shaped sex toy for the sci-fi loving male.

Basically, the Man Eater is a vibrator for your dick—a much needed toy largely absent from the world of marital aids. See, having something plastic and vibrating is quite enjoyable on a man's nether-regions, but most shaking sex toys are made for ladies, and thus they're dick-shaped as well. You ever try putting the plugs of two electronic devices together? Yup, there's no electricity.

The Man Eater is a bit different. It's built for you to place your penis smack dab in his mouth and let the vibrating surface take you to another world. When I first heard about the concept, I was cynical. How can some moving plastic make my man meat feel all that great? Because of my skepticism, the toy stayed in its rather attractive packaging on my bookshelf for a few weeks. Every time I had a visitor, they were drawn to it and we would discuss the toy and have a little laugh. When you don't know what the little guy is for, he sure is cute, and after you know his purpose, he's twice as funny.

Finally the big night came. I got myself hard as a rocket ship and turned on the Man Eater by pushing his belly button (much like that '80s movie about cute little aliens, the batteries weren't included). I started rubbing him all around the shaft. The humming was more pleasurable than I thought. The best sensation is gained from rubbing the alien's mouth around the head of the cock, especially around the ridge under the head for us uncircumcised gentlemen. This thing sure is fun. Feels nice on the balls too, or when pressing against the crotch (and that hard to reach prostate underneath) at the base of the cock.

I amped up the speed (there are three) and it felt even better, but after a few minutes of rubbing up and down it got a little sticky from pre-cum and started to chafe. I tried to add some lube, but that dulled the sensation altogether. After cleaning that up, we were back in business, but the vibration wasn't enough to get me off. But then, after the Man Eater good old Suzy Palmer and her Five Sisters felt somehow deficient. I had to shut the Man Eater off and focus to finally, ahem, blast off. But when I did, it was quite a ride.

I had a fun time with the Man Eater, but since it couldn't get the job done and it's a little weird having a green alien toy next to my dick, I think I'm going to return him to his box and plop him back on the bookshelf. I get a lot more pleasure from him resting there.

· Man Eaters from Outer Space (goodvibes.com)