"Whore It Up" Is Our Favorite Imperative Statement

Had a bad day at the office? World affairs got you down? Lacking a little Rio Valentine in your life? Just "Whore It Up" already.

Whore It Up

Studio: Digital Playground
Director: Robby D.
Cast: Rio Valentine, Cindy Hope, Madison Parker, Jayden James, Piper Fontaine, Zerah Jones, Krissy Lynn, Brynn Tyler, Desirae Wood, Kiara Diane, Heather Vahn, Derrick Pierce, Manuel Ferrara, Mick Blue

Poor Manuel Ferrara lost a fight (or something), and now his friends, Mick Blue and Derrick Pierce, are taking him to an upscale brothel where he can forget his woes. Once inside, Pierce asserts himself as master of the house, ordering Rio Valentine around and making her say stuff like "Yes, daddy." The boys hang out with the womenfolk, sampling the various mouths with their mouths and penises. It's all very orderly. Then Pierce retires to a room with Valentine and they confess their love for each other.

Short story made shorter: you only have to endure ten minutes of plot before getting good times in a house full of giddy prostitutes. Hooray!

As in other Robby D. films, the plot of "Whore It Up" is only the first stage rocket intended to free you from the gravity of your humdrum existence. In this case, you (portrayed by Pierce, Blue, and Ferrara) wander around the mansion finding new ladies to feel up. It's pretty much like that movie "Cube" except with semen rather than acid in the face.

The star of the show, and mistress of the house, Rio Valentine has two amazing scenes, first with Derrick Pierce and later with Manuel Ferrara. The first coupling is the most cathartic, as Pierce drops the misogyny and tries to persuade Valentine to go steady with him. Nothing is resolved, but their fuck is a tender one, full of all the tension and class division you'd find in a romance novel (except, you know, hard and fast on a couch).

Personally, I find Valentine's scene with Ferrara much more exciting. Her aggressive sucking is a better interpretation of the "Whore It Up" ethos, and plus, she keeps her glasses on the whole time.

Meanwhile, Mick Blue takes on Cindy Hope, Krissy Lynn, and Zerah Jones, respectfully catering to each woman's needs before he lines their asses up and tears through them all. As much as we admire the man's athleticism, we have to give props to the pussy-powered pit crew that kept Blue going throughout his race. Guiding, lubing, sucking: these gals know how to keep a show going.

But it's not all about orgies in the foyer, we can't forget Madison Parker and Jayden James. Their respective scenes demonstrate so much vicious fuck-drive, it'd be impossible to declare one of them the bottom bitch of the house. All we can be certain of is that Blue and Ferrara shouldn't be able to walk again.

So if you recently got beat up, don't sit around licking your wounds. Go "Whore It Up" and stop whining.

· Buy "Whore It Up" (digitalplayground.com)