Forget the ex-gays, ex-masturbators are the next new thing in Christian repentance—and they even have their own t-shirts!

We're a little skeptical of this whole movement fad, but we'll let it run its course. And if there are any ex-ex-masturbators out there... well, you should know that we'll always be here for you.

· P4CM PRESENTS "EX-MASTURBATOR" CAMPAIGN (p4cm.com)

Send an email to Lux Alptraum, the author of this post, at lux@fleshbot.com.