Hot and horny mothers are a rather significant porn staple, but fathers are far less likely to get any recognition as an objection of someone's affection. MILFs may be hunted, but FILFs seem destined to be left in the corner (or forced to do hunting themselves). So it was with great joy that we unwrapped our copy of "FILF: Fathers I'd Like to Fu.." (or, according to the title card "Fathers I'd Like to F**k"—were they worried about offending the censors with foul language?). Finally, a tribute to all the sexy fathers in the world (and, inexplicably, Ron Jeremy as well).

Unfortunately, the FILF theme doesn't extend much beyond the title cards. Yes, there are scenes full of older men and younger women: but this is porn, and that's rather par for the course. In the feature's five scenes, there is no mention of taking the kids to Little League, no scenes of suburban dads driving home in minivans, no essence of fatherliness, period. Instead we're presented with a prisoner and a prison guard, a patient and his doctor, a vacuum salesman and his client—it's nice and all, but when we're promised fathers, fathers are what we want to see.

· Buy "FILF" (gamelink.com)

Send an email to Lux Alptraum, the author of this post, at lux@fleshbot.com.