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    Drill, Baby, Drill

    This oil crisis is really hitting us hard and it seems that everyone finally agrees that it's important to find alternative sources of energy, because not only are people still paying nearly $4 a gallon for gasoline, our nation's supply of baby oil is running dangerously low. How will giant-breasted women wrestle for fun and profit without the sweet slickness these petroleum-based products provide? On the other hand, wind and solar wrestling doesn't sound like it would be very entertaining. We better to get to an offshore rig fast.

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    Send an email to Dashiell Bennett, the author of this post, at dashiell@deadspin.com.