A look back at our week that was ...

· We can't skate and we hate violence, but roller derby is totally our new favorite sport.
· First pornstars, and now teens. Where will this size epidemic end?
· If there's a porn heaven, you know they have a hell of a band. And porn.
· Is it true that when one twin touches something they both feel ... uh, never mind.
· So when was the last time a sex toy made you wish you had more minutes on your cell phone plan?

· The economy might be a mess, but it's comforting to know that capitalism still works.
· There's nothing wrong with a little redness in the face, but in our case, those aren't freckles.
· It looks like Stoya is doing all kinds of things behind our back. If we close our eyes, will she promise to do it again?
· Lesbians in San Francisco, you say? Next you'll try to tell us that Sweden is overrun with blonde girls!
· Remember, a stranger is just a friend you haven't seen naked yet.

Send an email to Dashiell Bennett, the author of this post, at dashiell@deadspin.com.