The art of seduction is a tricky thing, especially if you get all your dating tips from porn. Normally, all you have do is unsnap a belt buckle and that is enough to get the action started, but occasionally a slow build up is required instead. Back rubs are a pretty solid technique too, but then it takes much longer—if you do them right—to go from "how was your day?" to "let's try out this strap on!" Patience is a virtue, but then again, so is a fast forward button.

. . .

· "lesbian strap on scene" (PornHub)

Send an email to Dashiell Bennett, the author of this post, at dashiell@deadspin.com.