Were you raised in a barn? If so, then you probably get turned on by the idea of shagging a lusty farm wench—or a veterinarian who specializes in large animals—while the livestock serenades you with moos and neighs. Of course, you don't have to be a simple farm boy to enjoying watching two folk enjoy a roll in the hay. If fact, it's probably better to watch than it is to participate—it's the only way to get all the fun of barnyard sex, but none of the smells.

. . .

· "Natural big breasts in a barn" (PornHub)

Send an email to Dashiell Bennett, the author of this post, at dashiell@deadspin.com.