We all know that May is National Masturbation Month, but did you also know it's National Orgasm Month? Which probably isn't a coincidence—but is it a coincidence that Masturbation Month is also Teen Pregnancy Prevention Month? Even that may seem appropriate, but why is May also National Salad Month and National Barbecue Month too? Not to mention National Bike Month and Good Car Keeping Month? (We can't even figure out if it's National Salsa Month because of the dancing or because of the stuff you put on tortilla chips.) That's a lot of months for just one month, but we decided to get in on the spirit of things and pay tribute to some of the other special made-up holidays of May ... the only way we know how, of course. (By the way, when is National Porn Blogging Month again?)

. . .

National Gifts From the Garden Month

· How To: Make Your Own Veggie Vibrator
· Vagetarian Porn
· Fruity Girls

. . .

Older Americans Month

· Monsters Ball: Here Comes "MILFZILLA"!

. . .

Correct Posture Month

· Ariel X Loves Her Job (And So Do We)

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Good Car Keeping Month

· Flesh Flicks: Fucking Car Talk

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National Electrical Safety Month

· Fleshbot's Extensive Vibrator Coverage
· All About Electrostim

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Asian Pacific American Heritage Month

· Being (In Love With) Mika Tan (Among Others)

. . .

Jewish American Heritage Month

· Our Commandress-In-Chief Joanna Angel

. . .

National Community Action Month

· There Will Be Orgies (But No Cake): Rocco Siffredi's "Eskade: The Submission"

. . .

National Get Prepared to Buy a Home Month

· Jeanna Fine and Peter North in "The House on Chasey Lane"(Megarotic)

. . .

Also, it's National Photo Month, which is pretty much our whole basis for our existence. Without photos, there's no porn and without porn, well ... let's not think about that.

· "It's May, which is pretty much National Everything Month" (tigardtimes.com)

Previously: Happy Masturbation Month! (Yes, You Now Have An Official Excuse)

Send an email to Dashiell Bennett, the author of this post, at dashiell@deadspin.com.