How Fuckable Is Your Country? Latin American Edition

In an effort to quantify, qualify and classify all there is to know about our sexual omniverse, our sexy friends at Guanabee have attempted to help every one out there determine just how easy it is to get laid depending on what country you call home. They've assigned all the major countries of the Spanish-speaking world (and Brazil) a number known as the "Country Fuckability Value" (CFV). We're not really sure how it's calculated, because it's rooted in high-end mathematic theory and therefore too complex for dummies like us the average blogger. But we really like the idea behind it, even if what we really want to know is how accurate it is. To test the system, we've chosen what we think is the hottest babe from each of the countries in the chart and lined them up to see how their national ratings translate to real-life bangability. Granted, some of our choices might not coincide with your own; after all, identifying hot Uruguayan pornstars is not our strong suit, and sometimes we've had to resort to national descent instead of actual citizenship. If you disagree with our choices or the rankings, defend your nation's honor in the comments. That said, and without further ado ... let the battle of the babes begin.

. . .

· Argentina: (CFV = 80)
Carolina "Pampita" Ardohain , model

· Bolivia: (CFV = 40)
Raquel Welch, actress (Bolivian father)

· Brazil: (CFV = 75)
Gisele Bundchen, supermodel

· Chile: (CFV = 60)
Leonor Varela, Cleopatra look-alike

· Colombia: (CFV = 60)
Shakira, hip shaker

· Costa Rica: (CFV = 60)
Candice Michelle, WWE Diva, Playboy model, URL salesgirl, foot worshipee (Costa Rican decent)

· Cuba: (CFV = 50)
Vida Guerra, ass technician

· Dominican Republic: (CFV = 40)
Judy Reyes, fake nurse

· Ecuador: (CFV = 35)
Christina Aguilera, MILF-in-training (father born in Ecuador)

· El Salvador: (CFV = 35)
Christy Turlington, supermodel (mother from El Salvador)

· Guatemala: (CFV = 20)
Daphne Zuniga , friend to animals? (Guatemalan father)

· Honduras: (CFV = 25)
America Ferrera, ugly person (Honduran parents, actually much hotter than this)

· Mexico: (CFV = 70)
Sativa Rose, star of "I've Been Sodomized"

· Nicaragua: (CFV = 50)
Barbara Carrera, Bond girl

· Panama: (CFV = 45)
Ester Cordet, Miss October 1974

· Paraguay:(CFV = 30)
Cindy Taylor, TV host

· Peru: (CFV = 40)
Marina Mora, Miss Peru 2001

· Puerto Rico: (CFV = 60)
Vanessa Del Rio, distinguished porn veteran

· Spain*: (CFV = 80)
Penelope Cruz, actress (nudeactress.net)


(*Ed. note: Yes, we know Spain isn't in Latin America — but it was in the original list we based this post on. We also just wanted to include Penelope Cruz somehow.)

· Uruguay: (CFV = 45)
Natalia Oreiro, famous person (?)

· Venezuela: (CFV = 55)
Aida Yespica, hottie

- - -

· The International Fuckability Hierarchy Index: (guanabee.com)

Send an email to Dashiell Bennett, the author of this post, at dashiell@deadspin.com.

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