We grew up in the Midwest (you know, where the food comes from) and though we never actually lived or worked on a farm we know plenty of folks who did. We've seen our fair share of farm boys and girls, so we can say with some authority that this kind of thing does not happen very often. Maybe they do things differently in European cornfields—do they even have "rednecks" over there?—but gold chains and miniskirts aren't even worn at a barn dance, never mind the middle of the harvest. Don't get us wrong ... fucking underneath a combine is standard practice, of course, but it's just usually not this classy (or fertilizer-free.)

· "Rednecks fucking like Animals" (RedTube)

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Send an email to Dashiell Bennett, the author of this post, at dashiell@deadspin.com.