By Dashiell Bennett, 10:00 AM on Fri Sep 14 2007, 264 views (Edit, to draft, Slurp)

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A girl in Alabama didn't like the bad words she read in a book she borrowed from her school library—a "cautionary tale for teenagers" about oral sex—so she's not returning it. Because protecting your classmates from bad words is way important than protecting them from bad blowjobs. (montgomeryadvertiser.com)