· Michelle Marsh will have to get back to you soon, because she has quite a lot on her hands right now. (hollywoodtuna.com + egotastic.com)

· LAist was not impressed by Erotica LA. What was the problem? Too many pornstars or not enough shoulder stink? (laist.com)

· What's the weirdest part of this story? That male and female inmates are housed side-by-side, that they were able cut a hole in their cell walls so they could "join" each other, or that prisoners apparently have unlimited access to pancake batter? That last bit doesn't make it as kinky as it should be, either. (newsday.com)

· We don't care what you're selling, there's no such thing as a gratuitous bikini model. (copyranter.blogspot.com)

· Carrie Underwood and Kevin Eubanks are the world's sexiest vegetarians, but we still don't understand how could anyone turn down a piece of hot beef. (chron.com)

· Internet speeds in the US lag far behind other industrialized nations. It's hard to sleep at night knowing our porn should be arriving faster than it is. (xbiz.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

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