· Fergie's boyfriend shows her exactly what he would like to do with all them humps. Hint: It has something to do with buttfloss. (egotastic.com)

· Meanwhile, the NY Times is too coy to say what Harry Potter's junk looks like as Daniel Radcliff makes his long-awaited nude stage debut ... and if any of those 14 year old fans sneaking into the show have any opinions on the matter, they ain't tellin'. (nytimes.com)

· Ladies, now you can take booze anywhere you want by stuffing your bra with it. With a fuller rack and beer googles, there's no way you're going home alone. (thrillist.com)

· Or fill it with Gatorade for your next workout. Just make sure you protect your "girls" from all that bouncing. (excal.on.ca)

· First, he bangs a stewardess while she's on duty, now Ralph Fiennes is holding four-girl pool parties at his hotel. Who knew the man was such a prolific cocksmith? (thesun.co.uk)

· A rather depressing report informs us that porno spam is at an all-time low. How will we find hot, nasty sluts who want to meet us in our area TONIGHT?!!! (xbiz.com)

· The Washington Post gets to the tight, sculpted bottom of vaginal rejuvenation laser surgery. May your pussy never look a day over 21. (washingtonpost.com, via Gawker)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

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