"Hey Britney," we can imagine Paris Hilton leaning in and slurring through a fragrant haze of Stoli and Red Bull and expensive Bolivian stimulants into her new best friend's ear, "The sex tape rumour thing was genius; it's really cool that people are starting to pay attention to you again, and no one knows better than I do how not wearing panties and climbing into the back of a limo can really drive those blogger kids wild! But next time, try not to be so obvious, k? You don't want to give too much away so quickly—and besides, girl, those scars ain't pretty. Save it for your next honeymoon tape or something. What time are we picking up Lindsay tonight again?"

· " Britney Spears Did it AGAIN Last Night" (idontlikeyouinthatway.com)
· See also: "The Spears/Hilton Friendship: The Developmental Impact On Neglected Offspring" (Defamer)

Previously: Britney Spears Upskirt Photos: No, Really, Yet Another Britney Spears Upskirt, Britney Spears Upskirt, The Britney Spears Sex Tape: Don't Hold Your Breath, No, It's Not Her, BREAKING: Britney Spears Sex Tape, Maybe, Britney Spears in Harper's Bazaar, Celebrity NippleWatch™: Britney Spears, Britney Panty Flash, Britney Boobenslippen, Britney Spears: The Downward Spiral

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