· Victoria "Don't call me Posh Spice" Beckham reveals maybe a little bit too much of herself ... or just the right amount, depending on how badly she wanted her name in the paper this week. (hollywoodtuna.com)

· We're worried that our gearhead brothers at Jalopnik may be huffing too many exhaust fumes. That's this only explanation for this poll that somehow combines incest with 1980s video game-based racing cartoons. (Jalopnik)

· Since we're in the mood for breaking taboos today, a witchdoctor allegedly ordered a Serbian man to treat his premature ejaculation by having sex with a hedgehog. Predictably, it did not go well. (Note that "a thorough search of the Register database for 'sex' and 'hedgehog' returned 0 results." Thank goodness for that.) (theregister.co.uk)

· Chinese surgeons claim to have performed the world's first successful penis transplant. Organ donation is great and all, but we're taking this one to our graves. (scotsman.com)

· Scottish people have more sex than you think. And if you spend a lot of time thinking about Scottish people having sex, you should probably find some new hobbies. (timesonline.co.uk)

· A Brazilian call girl who turned her life into a best-selling book (with an English translation on the way) will soon see it turned into a movie. A film about a hot Brazilian sex worker? Like anyone wants to see that! (observer.guardian.co.uk)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

Send an email to Dashiell Bennett, the author of this post, at dashiell@deadspin.com.